I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
id be glad to
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
