It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
