All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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