i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
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I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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