maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
