i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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