I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
oh god the rape fog is back!
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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