i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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