I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
