i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
