I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
