apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
