Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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