I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
