I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize