She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
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he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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