if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
