...so i touched it.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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