I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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