This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
