Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
