he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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