I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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