Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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