If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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