Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
