Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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