Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
