I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
