we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize