oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
