That's intense
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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