well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize