i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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