Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i already hear my dad disowning me
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize