there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
