I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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