Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Randomize
