I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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