im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
