And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
