you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize