My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
