i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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