i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
