all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
