people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
