seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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