girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
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You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
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I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
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