it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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