Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
