Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My bed smells like the plague
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
