Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
