then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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