Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
