y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize