Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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