The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
