So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
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I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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