Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
